Meme 02. CR meme

[digitalemperor]

A little over 5k comments and a few trauma games and memories worth of development.... CR meme for Shark/Ryugamine Mikado, though if you have other questions feel free to ask.

Responses may be slow as I housework!

Also totally open to Emerald Study CR questions. Because I can.

Comments

[pitching]

DO WE HATE EACH OTHER FOREVER?!

[digitalemperor]

GOD I HOPE NOT CONSIDERING DRAGONFLY IS REALLY IMPORTANT TO SHARK. Um, them all nearly dying at the end sure was a thing. And the screaming at each other and crying over stress was actually... Really important. Because then Shark knew Dragonfly cared and that he himself still cared and everything sucked and he loves Dragonfly, so. That's not actually a question to Shark, whether he loves his teammates or not or something. He definitely does and so from there, he hopes they can work it out?

The problem is. He's not sorry for picking Coral. He is a bit sorry for being a jerk about it and not letting them talk it out but if they'd decided on Coral's box he'd have kicked Carnelian's anyway so. It's just a matter of how straightforward he wanted to be--but he'll be underhanded next time, if there is one. And he's afraid of that affecting things with Dragonfly if it happens again, because he still won't be sorry for doing it. (and I'm writing this as we thread so haha)

Basically he's worried that Dragonfly will hate him or be mad at him forever, not necessarily for this time, though he's worried about this time, but because next time he might do something even more unforgivable and then what...? So right now Dragonfly is a little heartbreaking to him because his desperately does not want to lose this member of his family as his family and friend, but at the same time he knows his own ethics may contradict Coral some time. He's going to try to be careful about it, but he'd rather Dragonfly hate him then do anything dangerous for Coral. Though he's dearly hoping he can manage to avoid both by being really careful.

Oh, and he doesn't think Dragonfly is useless (got a mean punch Hikaru...) but he does think these kinds of emotional games suck and are really awful for Dragonfly, Madoka and Cub especially. So ending the rounds quickly was something he wanted to do, he wanted to just speed through it because the more everyone talked the more upset everyone got, and of course, he wasn't going to let them pick Coral's box. Basically, he was being a jerk, though he was trying to look out for everyone's emotional welfare as much as the physical, it did backfire on him.

Reverse~?

[pitching]

Hikaru will always, always, ALWAYS be attached to Coral. If you're wearing the pink, he will default to love deredere mode! He is actually quite similar to Mikado in the sense of "CORAL IS MOST IMPORTANT" and that they should be protected no matter what, and because of that, he will never ever completely hate Mikado.

However, the anger was real and ridiculously fierce, MUCH MORE THAN I PREDICTED? A lot of it was just buildup from previous games finally coming to a boil, tbh. With Kit and the darkness, Jabberwock's game, Mother's game, and then Three's game which was his first official DEATH GAME ages ago, it became just a bit too much inside.

That's why he let loose on Mikado's face when he broke that box. It isn't like Hikaru was angry for the decision! He would have made the same one! It's just that he felt like he should have been able to be the one to at least have some say on THAT choice because his most important person is on Carnelian. Not being able to is what really made him snap because that made him feel useless! Like his input didn't matter even though he had important people there. Wasn't trusted enough to speak, etc.

Round five where he chose pass was actually a reflection of his own guilt vs just being angry because of what happened although it is partially because of it. NORMALLY, HE WOULD NEVER HAVE SAID PASS. The thing is a) Mikado already made him feel like he wasn't useful! which led to b) him relying on Kit too much. Mikado is still relatively new so it didn't involve him as much, but he has often let Kit take the brunt of the more dangerous choices in the games and WHILE OBVIOUSLY KIT WILLINGLY CHOOSES TO DO SO, Hikaru feels guilty about it. He's letting Kit become a murderer and shed blood because Hikaru won't do it himself. And now Mikado is doing the same. He doesn't WANT Coral to become killers. He doesn't want to die either but HEY, at least you get revived. The mark of being a killer doesn't go away though. It's actually irrational on his part because the idea of DEATH doesn't go away either but again, messed up emotions messed up his thinking.

He's so very tired and he knows he needs to talk to Mikado but he keeps avoiding it like the plague. He will eventually but right now, he just doesn't want to feel more tired than he already is. BUT HE DOES LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT.

SO yes. Did you want questions to be asked? :o