Ryuugamine Mikado (Shark) (
digitalemperor) wrote2012-06-04 01:49 pm
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Meme 02. CR meme
A little over 5k comments and a few trauma games and memories worth of development.... CR meme for Shark/Ryugamine Mikado, though if you have other questions feel free to ask.
Responses may be slow as I housework!
Also totally open to Emerald Study CR questions. Because I can.
Responses may be slow as I housework!
Also totally open to Emerald Study CR questions. Because I can.
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They're so cute.
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Kira's the first person in Aather to get Shark to laugh himself sick and she'd been around like, half an hour. He just clicked with her! She's fun and funny and really nice and he's able to be open with her. Especially when he met her, being open is something he was wavering about because he was pretty close to doing the Coral thing and deciding that closing off was fine, deal with everything alone~ mostly, save for his general open sessions with Kazuki.
And then there was someone else he could talk to! Just kind of randomly out of the blue! And she turned out to be, I'm not sure how to put it, but instant kind of buddy understanding. And he's extremely upset that her first game was that one, but he's also relieved she was with Kunzite because of all the teams Kunzite seemed to weather the game pretty damn well.
He's also glad she's with Kunzite for the selfish reason of the teams protect each other, and he likes Snow on Kunzite already and in general. So he's distressed she had to have such an awful first game, glad she had it with Kunzite, happy to have met her because she's really sweet to him and he really likes her and she's someone he can be open and relaxed with, basically. He feels really protective of her too, because she's new and she's his friend and she has had a pretty awful first day.
Derederedere
Reverse?
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Plus there's some crazy with layers of personalities.
But she doesn't remember she was emotionally repressed, so she is off making ALL the connections. However, while she is making more connections then canon Akako does, Kira....doesn't...know how exactly to go about it, really. What it feels like and a lot of Feels just make her feel awkward, so most is just casual with some getting protectiveness. Half of Kunzite has invoked the protectiveness.
Then there's Shark. And what it comes down to really is just that laugh. Before she was just liking him, as she did with most of Coral, but then that LAUGH and it's kind of hilarious how my misreading essentially led to Kira getting amazing CR. Because Akako has been emotionally repressed forever, she's NEVER laughed like that. But Kira didn't think to stop it and it's just...it's an elation her body isn't familiar with, but it felt SO NICE. It's a giddy sort of happy and there's endorphins and her body is just like 'THIS IS AMAZING *_*' and thus Kira is like 'I'M SO HAPPY.' And suddenly this happiness was immediately linked to Shark.
And then they did just...click. They could GET each other. Get the worry and yandere and the jokes and the flirting and making each other embarrassed and it's just...it makes me sad in a way to realize it would have NEVER HAPPENED with canon Akako because she's a faker, and just makes the Kira and Shark connection even more amazing. There was a kindred spirit thing going on which Kira also likes (and Akako lacked.) It's EVERYTHING KIRA WANTS before she even knows she wants it. Someone who gets her, truly, and someone she gets, and he makes her happy and he LIKES HER FOR HER.
Really it's only because Kira is damn good at following through when she decides something she was able to decide in the game at all between Coral and Kunzite. (It's why Kira's also been really together through her intro. FOREVER ASSURED AND CONFIDENT.) But making the decision felt like she was stabbing herself in the heart. For the whole of the game, she could get herself to not give two fucks, but then suddenly CORAL and she needed Meadow's comfort. What's funny is that is forever going to be a regret of hers now even if either choice would be regret. Especially since Kunzite had such a surplus, they were never at risk. >8
And now they've made a promise and Kira is a witch. Honoring Contracts is a thing she feels...kind of compelled to do. Which will be very interesting if she ever adopts those pathological liar tendencies, but it's just-ewaoiejwaoijewaj. Kira still has reservations about COMPLETE honesty because she does have pride, but she thinks she COULD do it with Shark. Because it's Shark and Shark understands and they get each other and he makes her happy and she's fine being a derp around him and it's just....
Yes, all the derederederedere FOREVER.
So barring things going ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLY somehow, when Akako figures out she's actually deeply in love with Kaito, what would Shark think? =O
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yes on this journal shh shh
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Shark really likes Throne. He's a nice guy and he seems really caring and considerate and polite. Shark kind of frets over the knights in general, so the new knights make him worry--Throne is no exception! He's a good person as far as Shark can tell, and therefor a potential good friend! That makes it more important to be aware of him and what he's up to. Shark knows he can't protect the knights, which frustrates him, but that doesn't mean he can't hang out and be friends with them, and he intends to for Throne.
Reverse?
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David thinks Shark is adorable and like...charmingly earnest. He is pretty settled into the idea of Knights-as-protector-outside-role already, but thinks Shark's thing about everyone just watching out for each other super touching. He is... kind of mentally like "yes, of course, you can help me and look out for me-- until something dangerous is happening and then please stand behind me". Which... okay is kind of hypocritical but. He takes his role very seriously. But he enjoys Shark's company a lot ;3;
IF NOT SHARK, WHAT OTHER ANIMAL WOULD YOU HAVE PICKED?
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Nope still has kind of a dere admiration crush on her! Though it's turning more to worry. Post-game Shark's been too trauma'd and cracking at the sanity to seek Apple out or he likely would after that not-hug. He was oblivious with her in the sunflower field, but he'd have to be blind not to have noticed something is seriously wrong when he hugged her and she just. Deadeyed.
Like, he really seriously cares about her. And he knows she pushes herself beyond her limits, he saw her do it in the Darkness event. Back then he didn't have much clue what was happening or that it was potentially a habit of hers, but now with her stage project, and her reaction of going to everyone to help them after Three's game, the pieces have kind of been clicked into place that she's in a serious place of overstress.
If he weren't kind of melting down himself, he'd have wandered off to find her again after the game, but a lot of other stuff pushed that from his mind, so like a dumb boy he's kind of forgotten his worry right now.
In general she's a friend he cares about though, and he admires her so much! He thinks what she does is cool and admirable, and he's also a little upset at the idea he's right and she's been stressing and he didn't know and she didn't get help, so potentially he may yell at her a little (or at least give her stern puppy eyes) if he remembers to after everything--though with the alumni event coming up, he may forget entirely like a dumbass and she'll be spared until the next time something stressful happens at least.
But that aside, his feelings for Apple are dere dere friendshipcrush.
Reverse?
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There are...small moments...what she's kind of UNSURE about his actions? Like she feels like something is off and it's not quite adding up. But heck a lot of people in Aather are like that so she won't bring it up unless it's causing problems. That being said, it's REALLY OBVIOUS something happened with Coral during the game, and she wants to help? But she realizes that they probably don't want to talk about it and she is in no condition to help anyone herself. I will just. Heal you guys if you punch each other okay. If she ever DOES find out what went down she will be SEVERELY UPSET with Shark and just. Man I don't even know what she'd do but what he did would definitely not sit right with her. :(a And she trusts him a lot right now, because he's been so helpful and kind and always willing to work through things with her. But yeah, gotta work through her own stuff first. BUT FEELINGS WILL MOST LIKELY BE HAD!!
Words are hard I can't think of anything beyond that.
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As such he's really protective of her in terms of games. He is much more freely affectionate with her than most, and he's also not embarrassed about it, because again, little sister vibe. So it's like having a little sister he kind of wants to spoil and pamper and protect and bring a shotgun out if guys look at her weird (though finding out Akemi likes her according to Kira makes him want to ask and not want to ask because, n-not his business, right?) But anyway.
Basically he feels incredibly protective of her, but that protective is the kind where he would shield her from himself too. So he doesn't want her to know that he thinks he's involved in shady things at home and he doesn't want her to see the more malicious dark parts of him so he gets upset when she has to witness it, like in that game.
Because he wants their relationship to be light and fluffy and happy and a thing where she can rely on him and not see him as a bad person, he sort of purposefully keeps their interactions at that level. Not to mention, Coral reaction, WHAT ARE ISSUES, WE DON'T HAVE THOSE.
Also, reverse~?
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Okay yeah she may be inspiring him to pursue avenues to dealing with the dangerous Personae, so for long-term goals good job Ferris.
His impression just of Ferris is that she's really cool and kickass and matter of fact and pretty and she makes dango and is really nice. She's comforted him after games consistently, and he really feels a big sister vibe from her in a way, accompanied with his usual blushing omg pretty girl not sure what to do at all feelings.
He feels like, being really down, just making dango and talking with Ferris is something that could just cheer him up really easily, because it's fairly easy to relax around her. Not entirely to the point he's really open, but definitely relax and not feel stressed when she's there, aside from, above, fjkgfhjg pretty girl?! as he gets. Which isn't stressful in the same way.
Reverse me!
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The trauma game really messed things up a lot, but Shark's feelings for Kit as family haven't changed. He's still kind of afraid Kit's going to hate him or something, but Mikado as a whole has actually a healthy amount of self-confidence and Shark's a little less certain of himself in some ways than Mikado (and more certain in others), but if Kit's going to treat him the same then he's going to try to take that at face value.
The problem is he knows he fucked up that game but he's not even sorry for it and he doesn't know how that will affect things. He has his reasons he really doesn't think were wrong, but he is sorry for breaking Coral's harmony, which he hopes is enough to patch it up, but he can't promise not to be a total asshole to protect Coral again, either.
Kit telling him about not accepting Emerald's offer to take all the damage during a game was mixed feelings for Shark, since his instant yan instinct said "WTF yes accept it, let them take it" and then he was kind of horrified with himself for being that ruthless and heartless especially since he likes Viridian and respects what he knows about Emerald. And also horrified because it's kind of a dick thought to have, but as many issues as Shark is having about "Coral > everyone else", he still more or less sticks to his idea of that. Coral is his more than anyone else (except a few of the knights) and therefor if he has to be a horrible person and make horrible choices and prioritize, than he will, and he'll put Coral on top of the priority list, and that includes spiting the whole team to keep them safe, if it comes down to it.
Next time he intends to be level headed and gentle and argue his points, but he has no intention of letting Coral take a hit if he can stop it, so even if it means lying to or tricking Kit and losing Kit's trust, it's what he'll do at this point. And this worries Shark because losing Kit's trust would hurt a hell of a lot. Because Kit is really, really, really important to Shark. Like I said, Shark really loves him, despite all the drama right now, and none of that love or respect have gone away, they're just kind of buried under a lot of sad and yan and anger at the whole thing.
REVERSE ME KIT
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HOWEVER... he also recognizes a lot of his early Aather self in Shark (i.e. making decisions based on personal ideals and not consulting team beforehand), which makes him :'D Early Aather Kit was a bit different than Shark in that he believed Coral should take 'damage' just as much as any other team in order to 'do their part,' but after his team got mad at him for that he kind of backed off that line of thinking. He also slowly learned that giving your team input is important and that he shouldn't shut them out for decisions like this, which is why he is sure to ask them beforehand-- and it's why, in Three's game, he went for the majority opinion even if his was different. He definitely understands that Shark wants to protect Coral... he doesn't think Shark needs to apologize for that at all. But he wants Shark to understand that protecting Coral means valuing their opinions and letting them in on these kinds of decisions, because doing otherwise just hurts them in the long run (especially with Carnelian since there are so many people on that team Coral loves and values). Shark doesn't have to be sorry for choosing Coral over Carnelian. He just needs to be sorry for being a jerk about it, which he is! Which is why Kit's anger at him dwindled so quickly (t-that and it's hard to be angry in the face of POTENTIAL DOOM).
So yes, Shark is important, and Shark is team, and even though he did something dumb in Kit's eyes Kit would never reject him (it's why he went to Kunzite to ask him to come back home :c). That's the beauty of Coral, I think. YOU MAY DO DUMB THINGS BUT YOUR TEAM WILL NEVER REJECT YOU ;w; This is something Kit has soooo much personal experience with sob.
SO next time will Shark give Coral time to weigh in their opinions before doing things? Or are there still hints of NOPE BRB DOING THIS WITHOUT TALKING TO YOU GUYS there for him?
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The problem is. He's not sorry for picking Coral. He is a bit sorry for being a jerk about it and not letting them talk it out but if they'd decided on Coral's box he'd have kicked Carnelian's anyway so. It's just a matter of how straightforward he wanted to be--but he'll be underhanded next time, if there is one. And he's afraid of that affecting things with Dragonfly if it happens again, because he still won't be sorry for doing it. (and I'm writing this as we thread so haha)
Basically he's worried that Dragonfly will hate him or be mad at him forever, not necessarily for this time, though he's worried about this time, but because next time he might do something even more unforgivable and then what...? So right now Dragonfly is a little heartbreaking to him because his desperately does not want to lose this member of his family as his family and friend, but at the same time he knows his own ethics may contradict Coral some time. He's going to try to be careful about it, but he'd rather Dragonfly hate him then do anything dangerous for Coral. Though he's dearly hoping he can manage to avoid both by being really careful.
Oh, and he doesn't think Dragonfly is useless (got a mean punch Hikaru...) but he does think these kinds of emotional games suck and are really awful for Dragonfly, Madoka and Cub especially. So ending the rounds quickly was something he wanted to do, he wanted to just speed through it because the more everyone talked the more upset everyone got, and of course, he wasn't going to let them pick Coral's box. Basically, he was being a jerk, though he was trying to look out for everyone's emotional welfare as much as the physical, it did backfire on him.
Reverse~?
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However, the anger was real and ridiculously fierce, MUCH MORE THAN I PREDICTED? A lot of it was just buildup from previous games finally coming to a boil, tbh. With Kit and the darkness, Jabberwock's game, Mother's game, and then Three's game which was his first official DEATH GAME ages ago, it became just a bit too much inside.
That's why he let loose on Mikado's face when he broke that box. It isn't like Hikaru was angry for the decision! He would have made the same one! It's just that he felt like he should have been able to be the one to at least have some say on THAT choice because his most important person is on Carnelian. Not being able to is what really made him snap because that made him feel useless! Like his input didn't matter even though he had important people there. Wasn't trusted enough to speak, etc.
Round five where he chose pass was actually a reflection of his own guilt vs just being angry because of what happened although it is partially because of it. NORMALLY, HE WOULD NEVER HAVE SAID PASS. The thing is a) Mikado already made him feel like he wasn't useful! which led to b) him relying on Kit too much. Mikado is still relatively new so it didn't involve him as much, but he has often let Kit take the brunt of the more dangerous choices in the games and WHILE OBVIOUSLY KIT WILLINGLY CHOOSES TO DO SO, Hikaru feels guilty about it. He's letting Kit become a murderer and shed blood because Hikaru won't do it himself. And now Mikado is doing the same. He doesn't WANT Coral to become killers. He doesn't want to die either but HEY, at least you get revived. The mark of being a killer doesn't go away though. It's actually irrational on his part because the idea of DEATH doesn't go away either but again, messed up emotions messed up his thinking.
He's so very tired and he knows he needs to talk to Mikado but he keeps avoiding it like the plague. He will eventually but right now, he just doesn't want to feel more tired than he already is. BUT HE DOES LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT.
SO yes. Did you want questions to be asked? :o
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So Shark's really dere for Mikage of course. Mikage's a sweetheart and really nice and baby dragon is absolutely adorable (though also weird if he thinks about it too much). And so everything about Mikage is friendship and bro!
Except. Then he took Mikage's memory. D= Everything about that memory sucks, no matter how much love~ and feelings~ where in it. Mikage should be happy to know Mikado has not displaced any blame on Teito, and actually feels vaguely protective of a kid he hasn't met because, well, Mikage cares for that person, and Shark cares for Mikage! But... Shark has a lot of feelings about Mikage being dead. A LOT of feelings about it.
He feels really helpless and frustrated that this awesome person who is his friend has died and is okay with it. Not only okay with it, seems like, really chill about it. He just doesn't get that at all, it bothers him, because he worries about Mikage's self-preservation instincts. Life is important, so being okay with being dead seems alarming. At the same time, he does get that, probably being dead/reincarnated gives you a different perspective. But as he is not dead (or pretty sure he's not!) he can't really get that perspective. He's trying to respect it, but it's hard and stressful and also levels up his protectiveness of his friend.
Also Mikage is like, THERE for him. When he's down. And he wants to be the same for Mikage and he's fairly perceptive but he's still never sure what to do or say when Mikage's feeling upset, because Shark is an awkward kid who's not good at those situations so he kinda flails around about it.
Basically he feels strongly for Mikage and friendship and protectiveness. And Shark is not... Inherently violence-oriented yet, because he hasn't had those memories back and he's more his early canon, peaceful ways~ self, but he would definitely stab whoever that Ayanami guy is if he had a chance and he would not feel bad about it. Because no one hurts Mikage, that's just unacceptable.
Reverse?
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Shark has a really positive impression of Josh. He thinks he's a really nice guy, and someone to admire and respect. He also really appreciates that Josh saved, or at least greatly helped out him and Kit during the Darkness event, and he's not going to forget that anytime soon.
Since Josh seems like a teenager around his own age Shark feels he could probably relax around the guy and they could hang out, most likely, if they ever tried. Also because Shark has a generally high opinion of Tiger's Eye he assumes Josh, like the rest of the team he's met so far, is someone he could easily get along with.
Basically Josh seems cool and Shark has a good opinion/impression of him, and appreciates that Josh seems like a good person.
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Shark admires Kazuki for his good points but not to any kind of hero worship or extreme degree. He simply greatly respects the parts of his friend he thinks are admirable and accepts the parts he's not so enamored with as well as he can, and basically feels really relaxed talking to Kazuki about anything more or less. This doesn't make Shark any less of a vicious horrible little shit when he's angry. In fact, it's possible he could be nastier with Kazuki than with most just because the trust there also means the emotions are more raw with Kazuki and less repressed than if he were angry with someone else, though that's mainly me speculating since... Kazuki has a way of defusing situations and anger that seems to work quite well on Shark so far. Though the fact that it works is also testament to how much Shark loves Kazuki as his friend, as well. Also Kazuki being Kazuki.
God how coherent am I right now? OH WELL.
WHERE. WAS I? Shark recognizes Kazuki is flawed and he disagrees with him plenty. He also enjoys picking on Kazuki a lot because Kazuki's fun to pick on, but he really does care about Kazuki lots and it's a very emotional bond to Shark. They can connect on a TEENAGER BOYS ABOUT THE SAME AGE level that makes it extra relaxing, even when there's a lot of not very relaxing things surrounding it, like Kazuki's WTF life, and Aather in general being weird as fuck, on a personal level Shark thinks they're really compatible friends. More than that, Shark cares enough about Kazuki to be very dishonest if he needs to, in order to protect him. One of his chief issues with the elevator game that WASN'T Coral related (because lol that explosion) was seeing Kazuki in round 4, and just going fuck it. He'd have pushed for protecting Emerald even if the other team had been one they had closer ties to, because he wasn't sure if Kazuki would go down with Emerald if Emeral went down.
And he would have argued whatever bullshit reason about Emerald if he had to (though he likes Viridian a lot, his main motivation for voting Emerald was stronger ties but chiefly KAZUKI). So yeah. Kazuki's really really important to him. Extremely so. No matter if he doesn't get all of Kazuki's opinions or agree with his attitudes, Kazuki is super important to Shark, and Shark is actually terrified about ever having to choose between Kazuki (or Mikage) and Coral. To a degree Shark HATES the choices they have to make between teams and knights and etc, but in particular I'm not sure he'd be able to deal with a choice that made him pick Coral or Kazuki. Because as much as Shark loves Coral and they are his FAMILY and he could NEVER place them in danger, he loves Kazuki too! Kazuki is someone he can be open with and is his friend and it's a choice Shark really doesn't ever ever want to make, but it's one he's already had a glimpse of just because he considers scenarios like that, and the games make him try to think ahead, but whenever he thinks of THAT scenario he just shuts down and can't imagine it, it's just that distressing.
But he's thought of it.
Wow yeah I'm rambly idk. Ask something specific if you want more/clarification/a specific topic maybe?
Reverse!
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MORE LATER just. Did that answer for now?
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He did mean what he said to Kit that game, about believing Euphy is tough and can handle more than she might be able to. Shark realizes Euphy is a little like him, in that she looks like she's fluffy and light and fragile but has a core of inner strength and resolve that would probably shock people. He's kind of caught glimpses of it in her personality, and he admires her a lot for it. It doesn't mean he thinks what he did was right, nor does it mean he doesn't want to protect her if he can, but it means he feels she's probably a lot more reliable and strong than other people probably give her credit for, and he wishes he could find a way to express that, but he's not very good at that kind of thing.
Also he enjoys her company and being playful and dumb with her because she gets up to the best hijinks and she's so energetic and friendly and outgoing; things he tries to be, but she seems to naturally be good at. That kind of spirit and charm is something he admires!
She's also around his age so he connects to her on a "we're equals" level, though she also has the whole "girls are ???" confusion from him, he feels a little more like her understands some of her personality/connects with her better than some girls who just confuse him a bit because girls?!!
Reverse?
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Impressions for Spitfire?
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