No I mean, I added the stained glass last minute and hadn't even figured out what it was until the end of the heart (FEELINGS?? ABOUT PEOPLE?? SOMETHING IMPORTANT???) then at the end I realized "oh fuck it's his trust. Well good." Because honestly he really had basically felt utterly betrayed and had all his trust in everyone broken--partly for his first heart. It was an ACCIDENT but they still messed up badly. And then because of things that kept happening afterwards his trust went from cracked, to broken to entirely shattered.
So he was terrified when they said they were going back into his heart, I mean for the obvious reasons of IT WAS BAD ENOUGH THE FIRST TIME but also because, how can you not be terrified when you just flat out don't trust the people going back in? Like consciously he thought and said "I trust you guys" but subconsciously on a much deeper level he was like "no no no fuck you I don't trust anyone near my heart nononononono"
Having that restored was like, as vital as killing off all the extra bits. So now, despite all his vast amounts of being fucked up, he still/again trusts his friends and feels like he can rely on them and there isn't any of that real suspicious angry resentment of feeling betrayed.
Lolol his misery and lack of self worth and willingness to murder his own feelings is hilarious.
Shark: WHY IS HE OKAY WITH DYING WHY IS THAT A THING THAT'S NOT OKAY. Also... Also Shark is like... Still... Upset about Naoto and Kazuki kissing but it's kind of like in comparison to everything else he also doesn't care any more. Because there's a lot of horror he has about his heart games that just makes some of the other stuff not worth getting emotional over. BUT NAOTO!!! WHY!!! ARE YOU OKAY!! WITH DYING. He's upset about that and realizes Naoto is a nice guy and. And maybe friends? Fish and pie and Naoto's an actor and that's cool and just. Probably. Severely strange, awkward dere? IDK he's made friends with people who have attempted to stab him in the face before, nbd.
Sion: Likes Naoto a lot and is really glad they're friends. Naoto and Yuki are like his first/only friends in Aather though he's... Working on friendship with teammates I guess. SION IS SO PICKY ABOUT WHO HE ACTUALLY CALLS A FRIEND as opposed to a friendly acquaintance. But Naoto is definitely a friend and one he trusts. And wants Naoto to be happy and is worried about Naoto's problems. And Naoto can actually top him emotionally with very little effort. Part of the reason Sion is so picky is because he's... Fairly vulnerable to people he considers truly friends so. Stuff like Naoto saying "I'm happy to know you" means basically the world to Sion, especially when it was so out of the blue. IDK IF NAOTO NOTICED HOW MUCH HE TOPPED SION RIGHT THERE but it's a power he has!
The problem of course is that Sion just never opens up and he knows Naoto is pretty messed up so while he trusts Naoto and loves him a lot, he doesn't talk to him. Sorry Naoto. Sion thinks he's pretty delicate and also it's Sion's own hangups that stop him from talking to. Anyone. About things he should. On the other hand he knows Naoto is damn perceptive and notices a lot of the things that bother him and kind of appreciates that Naoto doesn't bring stuff up about it either and just kind of is a good, discreet friend? I THINK IT'S A GIVEN THAT HE WOULD MURDER FOR NAOTO. But he just. Wants to adopt Naoto too. And also Naoto's pretty attractive so there's a bit of, if not crush, than definite attraction physically.
Noble :| NAOTO SUSPECTS NOTHING huff his misery forever and he will never figure it out
SHARK... IS SO CONFUSING... Naoto doesn't understand why Shark wasn't really okay with being told 'no it's okay nobody cares' because he assumed the apology was just... out of obligation. And he assumed that by releasing Shark from that obligation the conversation would end BUT THEN IT DIDN'T I'M CONFUSED... SHARK... NO... SHARK
But Shark is no longer an Active Threat to Kazuki which means that Naoto basically holds no ill-will against him now at all. He seems... actually pretty okay. Maybe. nts never feelings talk with him again.
SION is like Naoto's favourite friend gawd. He feels so safe around Sion all the time and just wants to curl up with him and cuddle and be floppy and dere all the time. He is genuinely glad that Sion is his friend and that they know each other better than they did! Because there's no way they could possibly have gotten to know each other very well at home given di[e]ce.
Naoto would like it a lot if Sion opened up a little, but at the same time he's afraid of what would happen if Sion did open up, confessed a problem, and it was something that Naoto couldn't help with. :') So he notices these problems — the Heliodor thing in particular— and just quietly notes them and set them aside.
And he does keep them secret out of respect! Like in the messy hair thread Naoto near the end put his face in Sion's hair and said 'don't worry, I won't tell anyone' but in secret Naoto code he wasn't actually talking about 'I won't tell anyone you are cute' but rather 'I won't tell anyone you want to defect to Onyx, because I totally figured out that's your plan'.
I don't think he's noticed he has that kind of topping power over Sion and it's a good thing too, imagine what he could do with it if he used his power for evil. But it goes both ways, because Sion is also really really good at knight-taming and if he wanted he could totally shatter Naoto's world so it's a good thing they like each other so much.
What would happen if Shark and Naoto got mistletoed or something idk how awk would it be
A PECK ON THE CHEEK but knowing us we wouldn't let that count so it would be the most awkward kiss on the lips with noses bumping and frequent apologies and flailing from both parties.
ASSUMING THEY COULD EVEN GET THAT FAR WITHOUT FREEZING UP AND STARING AT EACH OTHER IN VAGUE TERROR until someone else came along to free them.
What does Naoto think of Sion's defecting plans? And what would Naoto do if he knew about his topping powers? IF ANYTHING--at least what would he consider doing? (I am imagining terrorizing with dere we know you can troll Naoto)
NAOTO IS ... kind of sad but like, in a 'I wish it wasn't like that' way rather than any particular sadness or disappointment at Sion. He was more or less aware that Sion's reception was absolutely shitty and hey! If he hadn't been greeted really warmly and felt welcomed right away he'd probably also want to defect. Come to Turquoise instead of Onyx though Sion I will adopt you 'u' into my teamfamily 'u'...
Also I'm not sure he'd know what to do with his topping powers! He'd be a little alarmed to use it for anything important— like, HILARIOUSLY, the same feelings Sion has about Naoto re: 'I would never initiate a kiss because he wouldn't say no' are... similar to Naoto's, because Naoto is fairly sure that Sion would never ever reject him even if he had absolutely no kissing interest... SO LIKE... he would probably use it for cute quiet things like hairbrushing and ice cream dates and basically he would happiness terrorism all over the place.
Does Shark ever feel like approaching the 'whoa Naoto you and dying what' issue again or are we content to just pretend it never happened...
Naoto is actually wrong in that Sion will say no if he doesn't want something! But he would totally not object to being topped into cute things because who actually doesn't want happiness terrorism??
Shark for sure wants to talk to Naoto about it. He just doesn't know how to even. Bring that up. HOW DO YOU BRING THAT UP. He will definitely find a time and way to corner Naoto if he can't slip it into the flow of a conversation (how do you smoothly integrate SO ABOUT YOUR DEATHWISH) but until then he also wants to. Awkwardly get to know Naoto....??? So maybe Naoto can have a false sense of security that Shark won't ever bring it up.
SION DOESN'T HAVE ANYBODY ELSE HE HAS NAOTO AND KAZUKI AND KAZUKI UPSETS HIM CONSTANTLY!!!!
Basically Naoto didn't even register his feelings as protective, just fluffy dere, until he saw Sion very obviously change from happy and relaxed to depressed and listless, and he just flipped all his shit completely. HE LOVES... WHEN SION IS HAPPY and when he can smile because he knows that the lineface is the equivalent of Naoto's smiling, more or less, and when the lineface breaks there's no reason for that smile not to be genuine. And it makes him happy when Sion is happy!
When someone becomes a threat to that happiness it's extremely upsetting. His view on Sion is that Sion is a genuinely nice and good person who does not deserve all the shit he's been getting just because he's stoic. HE PROBABLY TOOK THAT ONE MEMORY OF SION'S OFFSCREEN, after the Lloyd thread, since he'd been avoiding it in an attempt to sort of distance himself and he didn't want to do that anymore...
But in that memory basically Sion had something nice and it was (apparently) totally destroyed, he was an adorable fluffy child and something happened to make his coping mechanism be 'ice princess' and that's terrible!? THAT'S WORSE THAN MY STEPFORDING BECAUSE AT LEAST SMILING MAKES YOU FRIENDS?!
Basically he loves Sion a whole lot and seeing Sion go from happy to sad is so intensely distressing that dealing with it is one hell of an adventure
It's been. Stages. AT FIRST IT WAS SUCH A FLOOD OF FEELINGS but there was SO MUCH overwhelming relief that it kind of superseded everything else with good feelings and happiness and for a day or two he was kind of just HIGH ON BEING RELIEVED AND FREE and also felt really fragile and vulnerable but in a "fuck it if that's going to stop me from expressing myself" way. And it felt so good.
Now that's wearing off and when he gets back from hiatus he will actually have to deal with how fucked up he is. Which is something like "not as bad as he was" and "but DAYUM still bad" because even if people got rid of what was basically "killing" him--taking the heart imagery, for those that ventured into the original parts of the heart most of the doors were fallen and locked and broken. Most of the rooms were offline. They're not magically back. He has to work at... Restoring his inner balance basically. And fixing all the emotional fuckery he went through and it's probably going to be hard and painful at times but he's also sturdy enough to do it! It's just... The idea of how fucked up he is does tire him out a little. And he wants his own internal drama to be over. He is very traumatized from the experience and I am glad restoring his trust was part of the fix it because otherwise he would be really really resentful and self-isolating right now. HE IS SELF-REPAIRING but he is also extremely... reliant on outside input, he needs his friends and he needs their support but he's also like "but everyone has had a horrible time I don't actually want to bother anyone with the fact that I'm terrified and lost".
That aside he also has pretty constant nightmares even if he's not noisy about them. And he sleeps less and more irregularly, stays up later and also gets up earlier. He's better by so much than after the first game, but by being better he also looks worse.
Also he's kind of traumatized by heart games and the idea of being in them or entering them and it just scares the shit out of him now. Thus why it was easy to handwave him sticking to Kit in Thorn's, thus why I'll lol when he's in Kit's.
Give me Kit's feelings on both heart runs and the aftermath with Shark =D
I HAVE RAMBLED AT LENGTH ABOUT THAT FIRST GAME so I will move on to the second!
Okay so none of the symbolism in Shark's heart was really a surprise to Kit-- from talking to Shark, Mouse, Shion, and Lloyd he kind of had a pretty good picture of what had actually happened going in. He knew it was a case of... "everything bad you released is currently being repressed so hard it's killing Shark" and all of the symbolism he saw was consistent to that. So nothing within the heart surprised him necessarily. He was secretly grateful he got to close and lock the CHEST OF BAD FEELS since he was the one who opened it, and he feels kind of stupid for not being cautious enough at that last mirror but overall he is pleased with how the heart went. WE BROKE EVERYTHING THAT NEEDED TO BE BROKEN AND LEFT IT SO THE TRUE HEART COULD FIX THINGS AGAIN. He is aware the journey to recovery is far from over, but he's glad they could help :(
Stemming from that immediately after the game was relief! SHARK ISN'T TRAPPED ANYMORE. He might still be messed up and he definitely needs Coral now more than ever to help with the rest of that process, but the most important thing is that the process can now continue unhindered. He is SO HAPPY he feels like he can connect with Shark again (one of the worst things for him during the entire ordeal was feeling like he couldn't connect with someone he has come to rely on so heavily in Aather), and he is more than happy to be there to support his bro in his time of need. The entire ordeal with the True Heart also solidified that Kit loves Shark dearly. HE IS THE BROEST OF THE BRO AND KIT WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR HIM 8( He also needs to tell Shark about his dad (if Shark doesn't find out in heart games) (it's totally possible he could).
Due to the heart game ordeal Kit is much lesssss touchy in hearts than he was before? Much less willing to change things, too. He isn't traumatized by hearts as he is completely and utterly wary of them now... he didn't touch much in Zero's heart, and the things he did touch he like. PUT BACK EXACTLY WHERE HE FOUND THEM (except for the box which he opened like an idiot and then immediately slammed shut and tied together again). He understands the usefulness of hearts, but he also understands how damaging they can be... so while he's more likely to move around in fix it hearts he probably will like NOT TOUCH ANYTHING EVER in normal heart games because 8|; Seriously.
Do I get spoilers for how Shark will react in Kit heart do I do I :D
Poor Kit. HEARTS!! and Shark is really glad he can connect with Kit again too, he was desperately lonely without that. Because Kit is his family and his best friend and brother and they trust each other and and!! not being able to talk was terrible.
SHARK MIGHT JUST SIT AT START AND REFUSE TO MOVE idek. He's. Really kind of like "HEARTS D: D: D:" more than I really anticipated. But maybe he'll wander around and like, touch things but try not to interact too much.
PART OF HIM kind of would want to find Kit's poker facing and punch it until it stopped. To Do: "Find part of the heart that is all "HEART AND SMILE" and club it with a baseball bat..." but we'll see.
IDK QUESTIONS how is Kit doing in general right now?
I would love for Shark to find his poker facing for numerous Reasons. It might be a difficult room to find but. Maybe I will shuffle him there anyway :)a Just because.
HE'S DOING OKAY RIGHT NOW ACTUALLY. He's getting over a period of misery from Shark's heart messing up, and all the trauma games, and just him generally being down because so many good things have happened lately! SHARK IS BETTER AGAIN and Berry is back and that is exciting!1 The whole... figuring out his dad was murdered thing kind of threw a wrench into that and was SUPER EXHAUSTED because of it for a day, but he's doing his best to pick himself up and move forward to the next thing (which is reclaiming the name of Kaito). He's doing his best to take some time to relax and enjoy his girlfriend's company and to just. Not worry about shit, because he was getting kind of exhausted about being so stressed out all the time sob. His periods of MISERY vs I'M DOIN' ALL RIGHT tend to come in cycles though so I'm sure something will knock him back down again. And although he's keeping himself calm in the light of his father's murder memory, that is still a super sore subject that could really really easily be poked at and made worse if someone hit the wrong buttons.
SO BASICALLY: IN A GOOD PLACE, BUT IS A LITTLE FRAGILE IN PLACES. That's the state of the Kit.
What did Shark think of Kit introducing himself as Kaito to the heart Yuuki?
THE SECOND ONE? Remind me if Mikado apologized outside of his heart because idk I think he will ALWAYS BE UPSET he guilted Hikaru into cutting off his own hand no matter what. But at least after the second one he can tell Hikaru how much he loves him and that he cares for him and basically he really deeply wants to never make such an error that ends up hurting Hikaru ever again so he's always going to have a bit of sadguilt.
But otherwise he also feels a huge sense of relief and just wants to flop on Hikaru a lot. IDK I should ask you and Styx if you mind if he crawls in with them at night sometimes because fuck it, cuddling.
NOT TO MENTION Kida really relied on Hikaru a lot and that carries over in ways of just, finding Dragonfly dependable and respecting him more and being more able to relax with him and trust him.
I THINK HIKARU HAS A MORE CONSCIOUS IDEA OF WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEIR RELATIONSHIP? Like I mean that not so much in a negative way but it sort of gave him a stronger idea of their bonds and stuff. Basically, Hikaru doesn't know much about Shark! Not as much as he'd like! He doesn't know about his friends or his life back home and a lot of that stems from Coral rarely ever talking about that sort of stuff. But I think he's gonna try to make a more conscious effort in asking about it though he won't push either.
HE WILL ALSO FEEL TERRIBLE FOR EVERYTHING FOREVER. Though things are fixed, that doesn't mean that past mistakes are gone. Those are pretty much stuck with him forever and he's always going to be afraid of hurting Mikado and he still has yet to truly forgive himself. '-' Maybe that will be a heart game thing in the future.
ANY CHARACTERS YOU'D LIKE TO APP TO AATHER IN THE FUTURE.
Sion: Forever devoted to Kazuki, can't stop won't stop. Always a stalker!!! And he's worried about Kazuki and mad at himself that in the memories Kazuki showed him he didn't get it and he wasn't able to stop Kazuki from feeling alone and that's a huge failure to him. He was already at least prepared to know he failed to keep Kazuki alive. But knowing that Kazuki died by choice is an added feeling of failure he wasn't really prepared for. It doesn't stop him wanting to do better in Aather at all, it just makes him feel sad and useless and like "why do I exist if Kazuki died for me".
But things are different in Aather so it's, well, another chance not to fuck up.
So he loves Kazuki and will follow him anywhere and always prioritize him and basically! But also Kazuki hurt him deeply a couple times when he was fairly vulnerable to it, and often, because of memory loss, he's insecure about how he reads Kazuki and if he's right about things and he KNOWS Kazuki doesn't understand him remotely well--but he is wary as fuck. Because Kazuki has rejected him and told him to fuck off basically, at a time when he was pretty sure no one wanted him anyway. And a few times since they've had miscommunication--when he took Kazuki and Naoto on a date Kazuki basically wanted nothing to do with it. When he took memories with Kazuki and Naoto, Kazuki was invasive as hell and kind of judgmental and entitled. So it's not like Sion is insecure about himself or his value, but he is sure he's basically unwanted? Especially because he does call Kazuki out on things, gets into arguments with him, pushes him and knows he does also mess up on Kazuki's feelings at times. He is stubborn and loves Kazuki and will stay with him despite that and offer his support and demand Kazuki not do things alone, but he also feels like he can't and isn't and won't ever be someone Kazuki actually wants around. So it's kind of a TOUGH I AM HERE FOR YOU ANYWAY BECAUSE I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL ALONE MORE THAN YOU ADMIT AND I LOVE YOU AND YOU AREN'T ALONE SO DEAL WITH IT. But he in no way feels able to talk to Kazuki about his own problems because it just doesn't feel safe to discuss them with Kazuki and they haven't developed a relationship where he feels open at all, or like he can do anything but prioritize Kazuki's own feelings and push him when he needs it. Plus he also has an idea of how much Kazuki takes other people's problems and he's just like, after seeing the memory where Kazuki is doing that for him, pushing aside his own feelings for Sion's, Sion's just like "no no fuck that, I am not burdening you, you do this for everyone else, but not me, I am your support and the person you rely on don't do this."
So there's also that.
Do SOTU relationships back! I will do Mikado in a minute.
Kazuki's sort of a deep mess about Sion because a lot of things Sion does and says rubs him the wrong way, but at the same time he is hopelessly in love and Sion can see RIGHT THROUGH HIS EMOTIONS it's really terrible!! And even if he and Mikado have talked about being unable to help being in love with people from home, he still feels guilty about being in love with Sion-- especially because Sion was the one who told him off for ~taking advantage~ and leading people on before, with Naoto, and in a certain respect Sion is right about Kazuki pushing him away because... Kazuki doesn't like that complicated mess of a situation! And he doesn't want to take advantage of Sion, he wants Sion to be able to get distance and have a chance to grow apart from Kazuki and fall in love with someone else, he wants Sion to be happy, so a lot of Kazuki's tsundereness at Sion was... essentially being cruel as a kindness.
And then Sion persisted anyway and a bunch of other stuff happened to Kazuki's psyche and personality and identity issues, which lead him to being more frustrated and such. Sion basically hit the nail on the head, about Kazuki purposefully isolating himself. He got noticeably better when Mikado was back to normal though, because, gosh, who knew that being actually loved and cherished by your boyfriend in a way you can feel with real emotion would help with your identity and AM I JUST A CONVENIENCE AND BEING USED and stuff issues!!
And then Sion basically completely confirmed he's in love with Kazuki and Kazuki just can't fight it anymore. But he's also still very frustrated and his way of communicating with Sion in the first place is built on the basis of trying to mutually steamroll each other, so they constantly butt heads. Kazuki has been quite influenced by Mikado and his desire to, y'know, see Sion EXPRESS HIMSELF that he's just out and out pushing and being invasive and things. Wh...ich backfires. And he feels like that even though Sion can see through him, he doesn't really GET Kazuki nonetheless.
I think the recent thread might've helped a lot though idk what do you think, I just sort of spewed feelings.
Haha this thread. It's pretty terrible for Sion and has been... consistently horrible for him. He loves Kazuki, and there were points where they at least... Talked in a way that was productive! And Sion was happy with that but pretty much everything important has come after the reveal of his own death and Kazuki's decision to die and no matter how calm he appears he's really not okay with any of it, Kazuki's decision, his own failure and death, it's awful and traumatic and he failed Kazuki.
And pretty much Kazuki has been consistently rejecting him in the thread and way before the thread. And while Sion does, and can, and constantly NO U's the rejection and stubbornly insists on being by Kazuki's side and won't... Ever stop insisting. It's not like being made to feel like Kazuki's done with or tired of him doesn't hurt? And part of him is still more concerned with Kazuki's health and Kazuki's happiness and Kazuki not feeling alone so he just ignores that it hurts a lot! And prods and stubborns and mothers!
Like at their current point in the conversation, Heliodor is a hugely sore subject with him and even though he does like them, it's complicated and sensitive and he's barely to the point of maybe considering being actual friends with any of them. So actually being friends where he feels any levels of closeness is ages away because Sion is 10x more guarded with non-Di[e]ce people than he would be in canon. Kazuki trying to push Sion at them like it's natural he should be able to rely on them, when to Sion his only value with Heliodor is to be reliable for them is just... Painful. And insulting. Because it's a display of how little Kazuki seems to care about his life that he's not even asking about things with Heliodor he's just saying Sion should somehow trust them! And to use transition, like he's trying to make Sion go away--when Sion has clearly expressed the one thing he wants (however unhealthy or obsessed) is to be with Kazuki is just terrible to Sion. And Sion is just trying to tell himself "he's drunk and doesn't mean this as hurtfully as it feels" and linefacing because it really does hurt pretty deeply on top of all the other stuff.
And despite all that he's still just. Concerned about Kazuki's emotional problems and hoping maybe he can be someone Kazuki talks to like that more often because having Kazuki be honest and use him even a little for support was the biggest highlight of the interaction for Sion. Despite the fact that talking about Kazuki loving everyone and wanting to give his all while simultaneously not responding at all to Sion (despite saying he loved Sion, and Sion understands Kazuki's trying to be faithful but a lack of reaction at all hurt more than an angry rejection would have) was another weird kind of torture. But at least he felt like even if it was painful there was something useful he was doing! For Kazuki! And being confided in made him happy even if the whole context hurt.
So... A lot of just emotional crushing in this thread for Sion. Which he is terrible at expressing in any remote way and wouldn't even if he could because they just don't really interact that way. But not without points that make Sion just more devoted to Kazuki. Kind of like how he will smile to reassure Kazuki even when he's dying of stab wounds. He just. Can't put himself in priority over Kazuki at all. Even with amnesia.
Mikado: Loves Kazuki a lot! Iiis worried as heck about him. Is relieved they can and are talking about things again. And he wants to do that more! Just... Take time to talk with Kazuki about whatever!! Like they used to! And he's not afraid to fight with Kazuki over stuff like he was avoiding for a while. So he's probably going to be more pushy when he feels it, but he thinks it's good and healthy to like, express himself!!! BECAUSE OBVIOUS REASONS so. Because he has trust restored he trusts Kazuki to deal with it well enough even if they do argue.
Not that he plans specifically to argue or fight or anything, he just feels more sure of expressing himself instead of avoiding.
He's also really fragile right now, still, and will be for idk how long, so he's... Also really relieved Kazuki didn't get tired of him when they couldn't be close and he's still got a lingering terror of what if I touch or kiss my boyfriend and nothing is there like those times before!! Which makes him both want to crawl on Kazuki and cuddle and also makes him freeze up a little and just withdraw to avoid it. Obviously he's been choosing the former coping method but there will be times he's like, panicking internally when he's with Kazuki and might be for a while. He kind of articulated that to Kazuki! And Kazuki had the same fear back and that helped, but there's still some kind of just ingrained trauma about how horrifying it was that'll take longer to settle.
But he really cares for Kazuki. He's not really upset about the Naoto thing anymore. He is a little, but mainly it's like, echoes of bad feelings rather than actually caring about it at this point. He just kind of wants to flop on Kazuki and cry sometimes too, which he might randomly. He does want to be able to help Kazuki with Kazuki's problems, which scare him a lot right now. But he's also in a similar if not worse state of trauma than he was after the Hook and Sea Witch game. Fragile and passive (his resolve to push more not withstanding) he is kind of in a flux state of feeling stronger and happier and also having to sort through so many feelings and terrors and trauma so it's definitely in affect when dealing with Kazuki.
I think the bottom line in feelings is just so much happiness and relief and love and some resolved issues and some persistent trauma he's going to need help working through as well as a lot lot lot of worry for Kazuki and the desire to help him too.
KAZUKI IS SO HAPPY THAT THEY ARE TALKING AGAIN AND THAT MIKADO TRUSTS HIM AGGAIN AND IS SHOWING EMOTION AGAIN AND AND AND he's really trying his best to to screw shit up and you can bet for a few of the days Mikado was on hiatus and I was... busy... Kazuki was just sulking that Dream took Mikado away from him AGAIN. He really just wants to spoil Mikado rotten and take him on dates and feelings all the time, he can't even seriously get mad at Mikado right now. He's sort of been tripped into full on desperate love-love mode.
Like Mikado though he's still pretty scared about WHAT IF Mikado just decides Kazuki isn't worth the trouble and doesn't feel anything and just there for Kazuki out of emotional obligation, which for a while affected Kazuki's other relationships and still kind of does when there was that whole sort of emotional void thing no matter how much Mikado and others tried to reassure him because FEELINGS. That said Kazuki's best waaaay to make up for that kind of stuff is to get incredibly desperate love-love, s...o. He's sort of worried about Mikado coming back from Dream and being different again too. He;s full of so many feelings!!!!
That said he doesn't quite understand why Mikado is so worried about him, especially because Mikado being back to normal did make him feel better and more established as a person (gawd Kazuki stop basing your identity around other people.) For a long time he was really worried that what they had and their experiences and how Mikado affected him so deeply meant sort of nothing??? And as I said before, he's still carrying some of that around. Idk. Things.
Noble: Probably already has an idea he's gone? Also will be somewhat... Relieved? And disappointed. Because Hunter is a huge leverage on everyone else and easy to manipulate with guilt and yan. At the same time Hunter is also someone he remembers being wary of and Hunter being gone removes a certain amount of threat from his ability to fuck with everyone else. Still, Hunter COULD possibly return so he has to continue to act with a bit of caution, not to mention there are other threats in Aather. So mixed feelings of OH NO ONE OF MY TOYS IS GONE and OH GOOD I HAVE A BIT MORE FREEDOM.
Shark: Is going to be upset. He and Hunter haven't threaded much in months but Hunter was and is still one of his most important friends. He's already so fucked up emotionally with heart problems though, that it's probably just going to be like, an exhausted sort of sorrow. He's reaching the limit right now on how much he can react to things, and while he WILL react and have feelings about it, it's going be in a really tired sort of way I imagine. Hunter you promised to stay :(
He'll probably do the whole "I'll just... I'll just get SUPER MAD AT HIM WHEN HE GETS BACK and that'll be my coping for how sad him being gone makes me." like when Kida left in canon.
Oh also you should tell me Hunter's thoughts on Shark and Noble before he left.
Man I need to fail less with Just but basically he is super excited to have Ninurta around. ALL HIS MEMORIES TELL HIM NINURTA IS THE BEST TOY and with like basically every one of his projects in Aather (Estelle, Serin, Ling, Ninurta) the fun will be in the eventual reveal when Ninurta remembers what kind of person he's been calling Hyung and cuddling with.
It's kind of a play nice now and laugh to yourself as you imagine the looks on their faces strategy. And he knows it WILL come to fruition but in the meantime he can just simply enjoy hanging out with Ninurta. Either with unironic good fun or just because Ninurta is just so fragile and sad and adorable and perfectly crushable. He's a little annoyed Ninurta is on a team because that means Ninurta has an actual support network Just can't isolate him from, but eh, nothing is perfect. He's enjoying what he has.
Regal is, obviously, super fond of Noble! At first he was uncertain about this whole family deal, but everyone seemed to roll with it so Regal decided to not fuss and not reject people who wanted to support him! (As far as he could tell, anyway.) In Aather Regal is pretty, hm, eager for support? Like, he doesn't need it so much because he's not a wreck here, but 2/5 of his memories are him being ignored/excluded from family indirectly and the others he's not really solid enough to understand. So the strongest impression of his state of affairs is that he was lacking something somewhere, and he wants to make up for that in Aather, though it's not exactly a conscious effort.
BASICALLY it just makes him more willing to be amenable so that he doesn't potentially lose all the nice support he's gained just by being in Aather! So he's fond of Noble and wants to know more about him, wants to hang out with him more etc, sort of as a consequence of remembering vague isolated feelings as a child. (And what's wrong with getting more support even if his childhood ended up okay?) He's also had no reason to suspect anyone really because everyone's been like, "Well, we're all in the same boat!" so he has a lot more faith in people being genuinely good until proven otherwise.
More specific to Noble idek HE LIKES HIM he seems fun and outgoing and reliable, which Regal sees as the total opposite of him so Regal thinks he is a cool big brother u_u He trusts him a lot and would go to him for advice! (Which he probably might've done already we should talk handwavey things when you're not busy.) Like with Cal (because of that one memory), Regal is a little uncertain about Noble (because of Mitchell's warning) but he's attempting to overlook it! Because, again, he doesn't want to lose the nice things he's accumulated so far. But he also doesn't want to just dismiss something his teammate put effort into warning him about! So it's a little difficult for him and he's dealing with it by ignoring it until it becomes relevant again, because as we know that always turns out well.
When you come off hiatus though you should def pick up our thread!! . . . Then Regal will have to find out about Hunter at some point . . . (Maybe he and Cal can find out at the same time ha ha :'D)
He's a little like "damn I messed up my first approach and it would have been fun to see if he could be poked back into monster viewpoint instead of OH NO REMORSE" not that he doesn't find remorse hilarious and just amusing as fuck, but it's more amusing to see if he couldn't get Mitchell to do things he'd regret. ALAS he fucked that up but he's not dwelling on it because it's not a big deal to him.
It's funny that Ninurta's on Mitchell's team so now he has to work a bit to balance a good person act for Ninurta and a "well yeah I'm a monster but this is mine and you need to respect that" for Mitchell about Ninurta. He doesn't view Mitchell as a threat to himself or his goals or anything, but he does acknowledge Mitchell is someone with influence with Ninurta so he does have to be a little careful.
At the same time he wouldn't mind messing with Mitchell more or just annoying him a lot. Like their game together he had a blast playing with Toboe. But that was made more fun because Mitchell was there being grumpy and glaring at him suspiciously the whole time. BASICALLY Mitchell is great fun and Just thinks it's a waste that he doesn't enjoy his unlife more, but as long as he's going to be all disgruntled and regretful about it Just will enjoy those feelings too. (Just enjoys everything.)
Mitchell basically has Noble categorised as a vampire in his head. Like not literally a vampire, but the way Noble was talking to him when he was moping set off a lot of red flags in his mind that correspond to the way that vampires in his world tend to act and look at the world. Hence Mitchell quoting "you're a shark, be a shark" at him, cause vampires comparing themselves to sharks seems to be a thing. So he's sort of... not as concerned about Noble as he could be? Because Noble is potentially a problem, but he seems like a familiar one. Mitchell feels like he's got him figured out and he's dealt with this sort of person before, so he can manage him. There's also no point in making a massive fuss about him before he's even done anything bad aside from be a dickhead. Better to just keep an eye on him and make the boundaries clear.
Which is basically where he is with Noble vs Ninurta. He's made it clear to Noble that fucking with Ninurta is not allowed, and he's made it clear to Ninurta that if anything happens Ninurta should tell the team so they can deal with it. He accepts Noble's assertion that Ninurta is his precious family for now because he can understand being a total monster in general but still having people you care about and protect. So he's not pleased about Noble hanging around, but he's not going to try and stop him or anything.
Oddly enough the vampire thing means he doesn't actually hold anything against Noble for the way Noble pokes at him. He's used to vampires poking at him like that and it doesn't actually bother him too much. He knows he's right and that he has the moral highground for actually wanting to be good and that vampires often can't understand it, and he's actually pretty happy for them to agree to disagree as long as Noble doesn't actually hurt anyone he cares about. It's why he more or less ignored him until Ninurta showed up. During the game he was irritated because he didn't want to show 'weakness' in front of Noble. Like he wasn't really trying to be grumpy at him so much as strong and manly? He was grumpy because the game would have been fun if he could have let himself play with it but no.
Does Shark have thoughts on Melody or do I need to bother him more? (Spoilers: I am going to bother Coral more anyway)
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.........i don't know what else to ask that doesn't involve a heart writeup ;~; TELL ME SOMETHING YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT
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Sob I'm bad at picking a topic to ramble on on the spot!
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No I mean, I added the stained glass last minute and hadn't even figured out what it was until the end of the heart (FEELINGS?? ABOUT PEOPLE?? SOMETHING IMPORTANT???) then at the end I realized "oh fuck it's his trust. Well good." Because honestly he really had basically felt utterly betrayed and had all his trust in everyone broken--partly for his first heart. It was an ACCIDENT but they still messed up badly. And then because of things that kept happening afterwards his trust went from cracked, to broken to entirely shattered.
So he was terrified when they said they were going back into his heart, I mean for the obvious reasons of IT WAS BAD ENOUGH THE FIRST TIME but also because, how can you not be terrified when you just flat out don't trust the people going back in? Like consciously he thought and said "I trust you guys" but subconsciously on a much deeper level he was like "no no no fuck you I don't trust anyone near my heart nononononono"
Having that restored was like, as vital as killing off all the extra bits. So now, despite all his vast amounts of being fucked up, he still/again trusts his friends and feels like he can rely on them and there isn't any of that real suspicious angry resentment of feeling betrayed.
Tell me about Lloyd's reaction to his heart!
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Lolol his misery and lack of self worth and willingness to murder his own feelings is hilarious.
Shark: WHY IS HE OKAY WITH DYING WHY IS THAT A THING THAT'S NOT OKAY. Also... Also Shark is like... Still... Upset about Naoto and Kazuki kissing but it's kind of like in comparison to everything else he also doesn't care any more. Because there's a lot of horror he has about his heart games that just makes some of the other stuff not worth getting emotional over. BUT NAOTO!!! WHY!!! ARE YOU OKAY!! WITH DYING. He's upset about that and realizes Naoto is a nice guy and. And maybe friends? Fish and pie and Naoto's an actor and that's cool and just. Probably. Severely strange, awkward dere? IDK he's made friends with people who have attempted to stab him in the face before, nbd.
Sion: Likes Naoto a lot and is really glad they're friends. Naoto and Yuki are like his first/only friends in Aather though he's... Working on friendship with teammates I guess. SION IS SO PICKY ABOUT WHO HE ACTUALLY CALLS A FRIEND as opposed to a friendly acquaintance. But Naoto is definitely a friend and one he trusts. And wants Naoto to be happy and is worried about Naoto's problems. And Naoto can actually top him emotionally with very little effort. Part of the reason Sion is so picky is because he's... Fairly vulnerable to people he considers truly friends so. Stuff like Naoto saying "I'm happy to know you" means basically the world to Sion, especially when it was so out of the blue. IDK IF NAOTO NOTICED HOW MUCH HE TOPPED SION RIGHT THERE but it's a power he has!
The problem of course is that Sion just never opens up and he knows Naoto is pretty messed up so while he trusts Naoto and loves him a lot, he doesn't talk to him. Sorry Naoto. Sion thinks he's pretty delicate and also it's Sion's own hangups that stop him from talking to. Anyone. About things he should. On the other hand he knows Naoto is damn perceptive and notices a lot of the things that bother him and kind of appreciates that Naoto doesn't bring stuff up about it either and just kind of is a good, discreet friend? I THINK IT'S A GIVEN THAT HE WOULD MURDER FOR NAOTO. But he just. Wants to adopt Naoto too. And also Naoto's pretty attractive so there's a bit of, if not crush, than definite attraction physically.
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SHARK... IS SO CONFUSING... Naoto doesn't understand why Shark wasn't really okay with being told 'no it's okay nobody cares' because he assumed the apology was just... out of obligation. And he assumed that by releasing Shark from that obligation the conversation would end BUT THEN IT DIDN'T I'M CONFUSED... SHARK... NO... SHARK
But Shark is no longer an Active Threat to Kazuki which means that Naoto basically holds no ill-will against him now at all. He seems... actually pretty okay. Maybe. nts never feelings talk with him again.
SION is like Naoto's favourite friend gawd. He feels so safe around Sion all the time and just wants to curl up with him and cuddle and be floppy and dere all the time. He is genuinely glad that Sion is his friend and that they know each other better than they did! Because there's no way they could possibly have gotten to know each other very well at home given di[e]ce.
Naoto would like it a lot if Sion opened up a little, but at the same time he's afraid of what would happen if Sion did open up, confessed a problem, and it was something that Naoto couldn't help with. :') So he notices these problems — the Heliodor thing in particular— and just quietly notes them and set them aside.
And he does keep them secret out of respect! Like in the messy hair thread Naoto near the end put his face in Sion's hair and said 'don't worry, I won't tell anyone' but in secret Naoto code he wasn't actually talking about 'I won't tell anyone you are cute' but rather 'I won't tell anyone you want to defect to Onyx, because I totally figured out that's your plan'.
I don't think he's noticed he has that kind of topping power over Sion and it's a good thing too, imagine what he could do with it if he used his power for evil. But it goes both ways, because Sion is also really really good at knight-taming and if he wanted he could totally shatter Naoto's world so it's a good thing they like each other so much.
What would happen if Shark and Naoto got mistletoed or something idk how awk would it be
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ASSUMING THEY COULD EVEN GET THAT FAR WITHOUT FREEZING UP AND STARING AT EACH OTHER IN VAGUE TERROR until someone else came along to free them.
What does Naoto think of Sion's defecting plans? And what would Naoto do if he knew about his topping powers? IF ANYTHING--at least what would he consider doing? (I am imagining terrorizing with dere we know you can troll Naoto)
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Also I'm not sure he'd know what to do with his topping powers! He'd be a little alarmed to use it for anything important— like, HILARIOUSLY, the same feelings Sion has about Naoto re: 'I would never initiate a kiss because he wouldn't say no' are... similar to Naoto's, because Naoto is fairly sure that Sion would never ever reject him even if he had absolutely no kissing interest... SO LIKE... he would probably use it for cute quiet things like hairbrushing and ice cream dates and basically he would happiness terrorism all over the place.
Does Shark ever feel like approaching the 'whoa Naoto you and dying what' issue again or are we content to just pretend it never happened...
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Shark for sure wants to talk to Naoto about it. He just doesn't know how to even. Bring that up. HOW DO YOU BRING THAT UP. He will definitely find a time and way to corner Naoto if he can't slip it into the flow of a conversation (how do you smoothly integrate SO ABOUT YOUR DEATHWISH) but until then he also wants to. Awkwardly get to know Naoto....??? So maybe Naoto can have a false sense of security that Shark won't ever bring it up.
Tell me about Naoto being protective of Sion.
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Basically Naoto didn't even register his feelings as protective, just fluffy dere, until he saw Sion very obviously change from happy and relaxed to depressed and listless, and he just flipped all his shit completely. HE LOVES... WHEN SION IS HAPPY and when he can smile because he knows that the lineface is the equivalent of Naoto's smiling, more or less, and when the lineface breaks there's no reason for that smile not to be genuine. And it makes him happy when Sion is happy!
When someone becomes a threat to that happiness it's extremely upsetting. His view on Sion is that Sion is a genuinely nice and good person who does not deserve all the shit he's been getting just because he's stoic. HE PROBABLY TOOK THAT ONE MEMORY OF SION'S OFFSCREEN, after the Lloyd thread, since he'd been avoiding it in an attempt to sort of distance himself and he didn't want to do that anymore...
But in that memory basically Sion had something nice and it was (apparently) totally destroyed, he was an adorable fluffy child and something happened to make his coping mechanism be 'ice princess' and that's terrible!? THAT'S WORSE THAN MY STEPFORDING BECAUSE AT LEAST SMILING MAKES YOU FRIENDS?!
Basically he loves Sion a whole lot and seeing Sion go from happy to sad is so intensely distressing that dealing with it is one hell of an adventure
as we
can ... tell ....
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Now that's wearing off and when he gets back from hiatus he will actually have to deal with how fucked up he is. Which is something like "not as bad as he was" and "but DAYUM still bad" because even if people got rid of what was basically "killing" him--taking the heart imagery, for those that ventured into the original parts of the heart most of the doors were fallen and locked and broken. Most of the rooms were offline. They're not magically back. He has to work at... Restoring his inner balance basically. And fixing all the emotional fuckery he went through and it's probably going to be hard and painful at times but he's also sturdy enough to do it! It's just... The idea of how fucked up he is does tire him out a little. And he wants his own internal drama to be over. He is very traumatized from the experience and I am glad restoring his trust was part of the fix it because otherwise he would be really really resentful and self-isolating right now. HE IS SELF-REPAIRING but he is also extremely... reliant on outside input, he needs his friends and he needs their support but he's also like "but everyone has had a horrible time I don't actually want to bother anyone with the fact that I'm terrified and lost".
That aside he also has pretty constant nightmares even if he's not noisy about them. And he sleeps less and more irregularly, stays up later and also gets up earlier. He's better by so much than after the first game, but by being better he also looks worse.
Also he's kind of traumatized by heart games and the idea of being in them or entering them and it just scares the shit out of him now. Thus why it was easy to handwave him sticking to Kit in Thorn's, thus why I'll lol when he's in Kit's.
Give me Kit's feelings on both heart runs and the aftermath with Shark =D
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Okay so none of the symbolism in Shark's heart was really a surprise to Kit-- from talking to Shark, Mouse, Shion, and Lloyd he kind of had a pretty good picture of what had actually happened going in. He knew it was a case of... "everything bad you released is currently being repressed so hard it's killing Shark" and all of the symbolism he saw was consistent to that. So nothing within the heart surprised him necessarily. He was secretly grateful he got to close and lock the CHEST OF BAD FEELS since he was the one who opened it, and he feels kind of stupid for not being cautious enough at that last mirror but overall he is pleased with how the heart went. WE BROKE EVERYTHING THAT NEEDED TO BE BROKEN AND LEFT IT SO THE TRUE HEART COULD FIX THINGS AGAIN. He is aware the journey to recovery is far from over, but he's glad they could help :(
Stemming from that immediately after the game was relief! SHARK ISN'T TRAPPED ANYMORE. He might still be messed up and he definitely needs Coral now more than ever to help with the rest of that process, but the most important thing is that the process can now continue unhindered. He is SO HAPPY he feels like he can connect with Shark again (one of the worst things for him during the entire ordeal was feeling like he couldn't connect with someone he has come to rely on so heavily in Aather), and he is more than happy to be there to support his bro in his time of need. The entire ordeal with the True Heart also solidified that Kit loves Shark dearly. HE IS THE BROEST OF THE BRO AND KIT WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR HIM 8( He also needs to tell Shark about his dad (if Shark doesn't find out in heart games) (it's totally possible he could).
Due to the heart game ordeal Kit is much lesssss touchy in hearts than he was before? Much less willing to change things, too. He isn't traumatized by hearts as he is completely and utterly wary of them now... he didn't touch much in Zero's heart, and the things he did touch he like. PUT BACK EXACTLY WHERE HE FOUND THEM (except for the box which he opened like an idiot and then immediately slammed shut and tied together again). He understands the usefulness of hearts, but he also understands how damaging they can be... so while he's more likely to move around in fix it hearts he probably will like NOT TOUCH ANYTHING EVER in normal heart games because 8|; Seriously.
Do I get spoilers for how Shark will react in Kit heart do I do I :D
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SHARK MIGHT JUST SIT AT START AND REFUSE TO MOVE idek. He's. Really kind of like "HEARTS D: D: D:" more than I really anticipated. But maybe he'll wander around and like, touch things but try not to interact too much.
PART OF HIM kind of would want to find Kit's poker facing and punch it until it stopped. To Do: "Find part of the heart that is all "HEART AND SMILE" and club it with a baseball bat..." but we'll see.
IDK QUESTIONS how is Kit doing in general right now?
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HE'S DOING OKAY RIGHT NOW ACTUALLY. He's getting over a period of misery from Shark's heart messing up, and all the trauma games, and just him generally being down because so many good things have happened lately! SHARK IS BETTER AGAIN and Berry is back and that is exciting!1 The whole... figuring out his dad was murdered thing kind of threw a wrench into that and was SUPER EXHAUSTED because of it for a day, but he's doing his best to pick himself up and move forward to the next thing (which is reclaiming the name of Kaito). He's doing his best to take some time to relax and enjoy his girlfriend's company and to just. Not worry about shit, because he was getting kind of exhausted about being so stressed out all the time sob. His periods of MISERY vs I'M DOIN' ALL RIGHT tend to come in cycles though so I'm sure something will knock him back down again. And although he's keeping himself calm in the light of his father's murder memory, that is still a super sore subject that could really really easily be poked at and made worse if someone hit the wrong buttons.
SO BASICALLY: IN A GOOD PLACE, BUT IS A LITTLE FRAGILE IN PLACES. That's the state of the Kit.
What did Shark think of Kit introducing himself as Kaito to the heart Yuuki?
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I guess in the meantime have an icon of Sion painting a wall red with a knife.
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But otherwise he also feels a huge sense of relief and just wants to flop on Hikaru a lot. IDK I should ask you and Styx if you mind if he crawls in with them at night sometimes because fuck it, cuddling.
NOT TO MENTION Kida really relied on Hikaru a lot and that carries over in ways of just, finding Dragonfly dependable and respecting him more and being more able to relax with him and trust him.
Reverse?
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HE WILL ALSO FEEL TERRIBLE FOR EVERYTHING FOREVER. Though things are fixed, that doesn't mean that past mistakes are gone. Those are pretty much stuck with him forever and he's always going to be afraid of hurting Mikado and he still has yet to truly forgive himself. '-' Maybe that will be a heart game thing in the future.
ANY CHARACTERS YOU'D LIKE TO APP TO AATHER IN THE FUTURE.
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But things are different in Aather so it's, well, another chance not to fuck up.
So he loves Kazuki and will follow him anywhere and always prioritize him and basically! But also Kazuki hurt him deeply a couple times when he was fairly vulnerable to it, and often, because of memory loss, he's insecure about how he reads Kazuki and if he's right about things and he KNOWS Kazuki doesn't understand him remotely well--but he is wary as fuck. Because Kazuki has rejected him and told him to fuck off basically, at a time when he was pretty sure no one wanted him anyway. And a few times since they've had miscommunication--when he took Kazuki and Naoto on a date Kazuki basically wanted nothing to do with it. When he took memories with Kazuki and Naoto, Kazuki was invasive as hell and kind of judgmental and entitled. So it's not like Sion is insecure about himself or his value, but he is sure he's basically unwanted? Especially because he does call Kazuki out on things, gets into arguments with him, pushes him and knows he does also mess up on Kazuki's feelings at times. He is stubborn and loves Kazuki and will stay with him despite that and offer his support and demand Kazuki not do things alone, but he also feels like he can't and isn't and won't ever be someone Kazuki actually wants around. So it's kind of a TOUGH I AM HERE FOR YOU ANYWAY BECAUSE I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL ALONE MORE THAN YOU ADMIT AND I LOVE YOU AND YOU AREN'T ALONE SO DEAL WITH IT. But he in no way feels able to talk to Kazuki about his own problems because it just doesn't feel safe to discuss them with Kazuki and they haven't developed a relationship where he feels open at all, or like he can do anything but prioritize Kazuki's own feelings and push him when he needs it. Plus he also has an idea of how much Kazuki takes other people's problems and he's just like, after seeing the memory where Kazuki is doing that for him, pushing aside his own feelings for Sion's, Sion's just like "no no fuck that, I am not burdening you, you do this for everyone else, but not me, I am your support and the person you rely on don't do this."
So there's also that.
Do SOTU relationships back! I will do Mikado in a minute.
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And then Sion persisted anyway and a bunch of other stuff happened to Kazuki's psyche and personality and identity issues, which lead him to being more frustrated and such. Sion basically hit the nail on the head, about Kazuki purposefully isolating himself. He got noticeably better when Mikado was back to normal though, because, gosh, who knew that being actually loved and cherished by your boyfriend in a way you can feel with real emotion would help with your identity and AM I JUST A CONVENIENCE AND BEING USED and stuff issues!!
And then Sion basically completely confirmed he's in love with Kazuki and Kazuki just can't fight it anymore. But he's also still very frustrated and his way of communicating with Sion in the first place is built on the basis of trying to mutually steamroll each other, so they constantly butt heads. Kazuki has been quite influenced by Mikado and his desire to, y'know, see Sion EXPRESS HIMSELF that he's just out and out pushing and being invasive and things. Wh...ich backfires. And he feels like that even though Sion can see through him, he doesn't really GET Kazuki nonetheless.
I think the recent thread might've helped a lot though idk what do you think, I just sort of spewed feelings.
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And pretty much Kazuki has been consistently rejecting him in the thread and way before the thread. And while Sion does, and can, and constantly NO U's the rejection and stubbornly insists on being by Kazuki's side and won't... Ever stop insisting. It's not like being made to feel like Kazuki's done with or tired of him doesn't hurt? And part of him is still more concerned with Kazuki's health and Kazuki's happiness and Kazuki not feeling alone so he just ignores that it hurts a lot! And prods and stubborns and mothers!
Like at their current point in the conversation, Heliodor is a hugely sore subject with him and even though he does like them, it's complicated and sensitive and he's barely to the point of maybe considering being actual friends with any of them. So actually being friends where he feels any levels of closeness is ages away because Sion is 10x more guarded with non-Di[e]ce people than he would be in canon. Kazuki trying to push Sion at them like it's natural he should be able to rely on them, when to Sion his only value with Heliodor is to be reliable for them is just... Painful. And insulting. Because it's a display of how little Kazuki seems to care about his life that he's not even asking about things with Heliodor he's just saying Sion should somehow trust them! And to use transition, like he's trying to make Sion go away--when Sion has clearly expressed the one thing he wants (however unhealthy or obsessed) is to be with Kazuki is just terrible to Sion. And Sion is just trying to tell himself "he's drunk and doesn't mean this as hurtfully as it feels" and linefacing because it really does hurt pretty deeply on top of all the other stuff.
And despite all that he's still just. Concerned about Kazuki's emotional problems and hoping maybe he can be someone Kazuki talks to like that more often because having Kazuki be honest and use him even a little for support was the biggest highlight of the interaction for Sion. Despite the fact that talking about Kazuki loving everyone and wanting to give his all while simultaneously not responding at all to Sion (despite saying he loved Sion, and Sion understands Kazuki's trying to be faithful but a lack of reaction at all hurt more than an angry rejection would have) was another weird kind of torture. But at least he felt like even if it was painful there was something useful he was doing! For Kazuki! And being confided in made him happy even if the whole context hurt.
So... A lot of just emotional crushing in this thread for Sion. Which he is terrible at expressing in any remote way and wouldn't even if he could because they just don't really interact that way. But not without points that make Sion just more devoted to Kazuki. Kind of like how he will smile to reassure Kazuki even when he's dying of stab wounds. He just. Can't put himself in priority over Kazuki at all. Even with amnesia.
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he keeps trying so hard because he cares a lot about Sion but look at where it gets him especially when he's drunk
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Not that he plans specifically to argue or fight or anything, he just feels more sure of expressing himself instead of avoiding.
He's also really fragile right now, still, and will be for idk how long, so he's... Also really relieved Kazuki didn't get tired of him when they couldn't be close and he's still got a lingering terror of what if I touch or kiss my boyfriend and nothing is there like those times before!! Which makes him both want to crawl on Kazuki and cuddle and also makes him freeze up a little and just withdraw to avoid it. Obviously he's been choosing the former coping method but there will be times he's like, panicking internally when he's with Kazuki and might be for a while. He kind of articulated that to Kazuki! And Kazuki had the same fear back and that helped, but there's still some kind of just ingrained trauma about how horrifying it was that'll take longer to settle.
But he really cares for Kazuki. He's not really upset about the Naoto thing anymore. He is a little, but mainly it's like, echoes of bad feelings rather than actually caring about it at this point. He just kind of wants to flop on Kazuki and cry sometimes too, which he might randomly. He does want to be able to help Kazuki with Kazuki's problems, which scare him a lot right now. But he's also in a similar if not worse state of trauma than he was after the Hook and Sea Witch game. Fragile and passive (his resolve to push more not withstanding) he is kind of in a flux state of feeling stronger and happier and also having to sort through so many feelings and terrors and trauma so it's definitely in affect when dealing with Kazuki.
I think the bottom line in feelings is just so much happiness and relief and love and some resolved issues and some persistent trauma he's going to need help working through as well as a lot lot lot of worry for Kazuki and the desire to help him too.
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Like Mikado though he's still pretty scared about WHAT IF Mikado just decides Kazuki isn't worth the trouble and doesn't feel anything and just there for Kazuki out of emotional obligation, which for a while affected Kazuki's other relationships and still kind of does when there was that whole sort of emotional void thing no matter how much Mikado and others tried to reassure him because FEELINGS. That said Kazuki's best waaaay to make up for that kind of stuff is to get incredibly desperate love-love, s...o. He's sort of worried about Mikado coming back from Dream and being different again too. He;s full of so many feelings!!!!
That said he doesn't quite understand why Mikado is so worried about him, especially because Mikado being back to normal did make him feel better and more established as a person (gawd Kazuki stop basing your identity around other people.) For a long time he was really worried that what they had and their experiences and how Mikado affected him so deeply meant sort of nothing??? And as I said before, he's still carrying some of that around. Idk. Things.
what exactly is Mikado worried about?
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Noble: Probably already has an idea he's gone? Also will be somewhat... Relieved? And disappointed. Because Hunter is a huge leverage on everyone else and easy to manipulate with guilt and yan. At the same time Hunter is also someone he remembers being wary of and Hunter being gone removes a certain amount of threat from his ability to fuck with everyone else. Still, Hunter COULD possibly return so he has to continue to act with a bit of caution, not to mention there are other threats in Aather. So mixed feelings of OH NO ONE OF MY TOYS IS GONE and OH GOOD I HAVE A BIT MORE FREEDOM.
Shark: Is going to be upset. He and Hunter haven't threaded much in months but Hunter was and is still one of his most important friends. He's already so fucked up emotionally with heart problems though, that it's probably just going to be like, an exhausted sort of sorrow. He's reaching the limit right now on how much he can react to things, and while he WILL react and have feelings about it, it's going be in a really tired sort of way I imagine. Hunter you promised to stay :(
He'll probably do the whole "I'll just... I'll just get SUPER MAD AT HIM WHEN HE GETS BACK and that'll be my coping for how sad him being gone makes me." like when Kida left in canon.
Oh also you should tell me Hunter's thoughts on Shark and Noble before he left.
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EDITED FOR CLARIFICATION
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It's kind of a play nice now and laugh to yourself as you imagine the looks on their faces strategy. And he knows it WILL come to fruition but in the meantime he can just simply enjoy hanging out with Ninurta. Either with unironic good fun or just because Ninurta is just so fragile and sad and adorable and perfectly crushable. He's a little annoyed Ninurta is on a team because that means Ninurta has an actual support network Just can't isolate him from, but eh, nothing is perfect. He's enjoying what he has.
THOUGHTS BACK?
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Regal is, obviously, super fond of Noble! At first he was uncertain about this whole family deal, but everyone seemed to roll with it so Regal decided to not fuss and not reject people who wanted to support him! (As far as he could tell, anyway.) In Aather Regal is pretty, hm, eager for support? Like, he doesn't need it so much because he's not a wreck here, but 2/5 of his memories are him being ignored/excluded from family indirectly and the others he's not really solid enough to understand. So the strongest impression of his state of affairs is that he was lacking something somewhere, and he wants to make up for that in Aather, though it's not exactly a conscious effort.
BASICALLY it just makes him more willing to be amenable so that he doesn't potentially lose all the nice support he's gained just by being in Aather! So he's fond of Noble and wants to know more about him, wants to hang out with him more etc, sort of as a consequence of remembering vague isolated feelings as a child. (And what's wrong with getting more support even if his childhood ended up okay?) He's also had no reason to suspect anyone really because everyone's been like, "Well, we're all in the same boat!" so he has a lot more faith in people being genuinely good until proven otherwise.
More specific to Noble idek HE LIKES HIM he seems fun and outgoing and reliable, which Regal sees as the total opposite of him so Regal thinks he is a cool big brother u_u He trusts him a lot and would go to him for advice! (Which he probably might've done already we should talk handwavey things when you're not busy.) Like with Cal (because of that one memory), Regal is a little uncertain about Noble (because of Mitchell's warning) but he's attempting to overlook it! Because, again, he doesn't want to lose the nice things he's accumulated so far. But he also doesn't want to just dismiss something his teammate put effort into warning him about! So it's a little difficult for him and he's dealing with it by ignoring it until it becomes relevant again, because as we know that always turns out well.
When you come off hiatus though you should def pick up our thread!! . . . Then Regal will have to find out about Hunter at some point . . . (Maybe he and Cal can find out at the same time ha ha :'D)
THINGS YOU WANT TO DO WITH YOUR CHARACTERSSSsss?
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It's funny that Ninurta's on Mitchell's team so now he has to work a bit to balance a good person act for Ninurta and a "well yeah I'm a monster but this is mine and you need to respect that" for Mitchell about Ninurta. He doesn't view Mitchell as a threat to himself or his goals or anything, but he does acknowledge Mitchell is someone with influence with Ninurta so he does have to be a little careful.
At the same time he wouldn't mind messing with Mitchell more or just annoying him a lot. Like their game together he had a blast playing with Toboe. But that was made more fun because Mitchell was there being grumpy and glaring at him suspiciously the whole time. BASICALLY Mitchell is great fun and Just thinks it's a waste that he doesn't enjoy his unlife more, but as long as he's going to be all disgruntled and regretful about it Just will enjoy those feelings too. (Just enjoys everything.)
Thoughts back?
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Which is basically where he is with Noble vs Ninurta. He's made it clear to Noble that fucking with Ninurta is not allowed, and he's made it clear to Ninurta that if anything happens Ninurta should tell the team so they can deal with it. He accepts Noble's assertion that Ninurta is his precious family for now because he can understand being a total monster in general but still having people you care about and protect. So he's not pleased about Noble hanging around, but he's not going to try and stop him or anything.
Oddly enough the vampire thing means he doesn't actually hold anything against Noble for the way Noble pokes at him. He's used to vampires poking at him like that and it doesn't actually bother him too much. He knows he's right and that he has the moral highground for actually wanting to be good and that vampires often can't understand it, and he's actually pretty happy for them to agree to disagree as long as Noble doesn't actually hurt anyone he cares about. It's why he more or less ignored him until Ninurta showed up. During the game he was irritated because he didn't want to show 'weakness' in front of Noble. Like he wasn't really trying to be grumpy at him so much as strong and manly? He was grumpy because the game would have been fun if he could have let himself play with it but no.
Does Shark have thoughts on Melody or do I need to bother him more? (Spoilers: I am going to bother Coral more anyway)
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did relentlessly kissing every other thing in your heart do things
'3'
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