It's been. Stages. AT FIRST IT WAS SUCH A FLOOD OF FEELINGS but there was SO MUCH overwhelming relief that it kind of superseded everything else with good feelings and happiness and for a day or two he was kind of just HIGH ON BEING RELIEVED AND FREE and also felt really fragile and vulnerable but in a "fuck it if that's going to stop me from expressing myself" way. And it felt so good.
Now that's wearing off and when he gets back from hiatus he will actually have to deal with how fucked up he is. Which is something like "not as bad as he was" and "but DAYUM still bad" because even if people got rid of what was basically "killing" him--taking the heart imagery, for those that ventured into the original parts of the heart most of the doors were fallen and locked and broken. Most of the rooms were offline. They're not magically back. He has to work at... Restoring his inner balance basically. And fixing all the emotional fuckery he went through and it's probably going to be hard and painful at times but he's also sturdy enough to do it! It's just... The idea of how fucked up he is does tire him out a little. And he wants his own internal drama to be over. He is very traumatized from the experience and I am glad restoring his trust was part of the fix it because otherwise he would be really really resentful and self-isolating right now. HE IS SELF-REPAIRING but he is also extremely... reliant on outside input, he needs his friends and he needs their support but he's also like "but everyone has had a horrible time I don't actually want to bother anyone with the fact that I'm terrified and lost".
That aside he also has pretty constant nightmares even if he's not noisy about them. And he sleeps less and more irregularly, stays up later and also gets up earlier. He's better by so much than after the first game, but by being better he also looks worse.
Also he's kind of traumatized by heart games and the idea of being in them or entering them and it just scares the shit out of him now. Thus why it was easy to handwave him sticking to Kit in Thorn's, thus why I'll lol when he's in Kit's.
Give me Kit's feelings on both heart runs and the aftermath with Shark =D
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Now that's wearing off and when he gets back from hiatus he will actually have to deal with how fucked up he is. Which is something like "not as bad as he was" and "but DAYUM still bad" because even if people got rid of what was basically "killing" him--taking the heart imagery, for those that ventured into the original parts of the heart most of the doors were fallen and locked and broken. Most of the rooms were offline. They're not magically back. He has to work at... Restoring his inner balance basically. And fixing all the emotional fuckery he went through and it's probably going to be hard and painful at times but he's also sturdy enough to do it! It's just... The idea of how fucked up he is does tire him out a little. And he wants his own internal drama to be over. He is very traumatized from the experience and I am glad restoring his trust was part of the fix it because otherwise he would be really really resentful and self-isolating right now. HE IS SELF-REPAIRING but he is also extremely... reliant on outside input, he needs his friends and he needs their support but he's also like "but everyone has had a horrible time I don't actually want to bother anyone with the fact that I'm terrified and lost".
That aside he also has pretty constant nightmares even if he's not noisy about them. And he sleeps less and more irregularly, stays up later and also gets up earlier. He's better by so much than after the first game, but by being better he also looks worse.
Also he's kind of traumatized by heart games and the idea of being in them or entering them and it just scares the shit out of him now. Thus why it was easy to handwave him sticking to Kit in Thorn's, thus why I'll lol when he's in Kit's.
Give me Kit's feelings on both heart runs and the aftermath with Shark =D